dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
