Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
