I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
