yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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