hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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