While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
