i just google imaged poop.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
