Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
