he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
