He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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