Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize