don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
