I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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