In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I did not marry a roomba.
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