You smell like stripper and shame
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
