just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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