"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
