this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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