I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize