time to smoke my breakfast
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE