Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
