the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night