so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
