I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize