I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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