He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
