it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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