This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
