Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He did a backflip because drugs
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