Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
