I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
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i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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