dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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