margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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