Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
