Soap is not a condiment
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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