OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
