At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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