he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize