Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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