I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
