No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
