..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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