Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
