Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.