I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
smell my finger.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
