The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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