i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
