You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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