Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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