found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
