I'm really into asian looking animals
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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