it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had to cum in my sink.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
