wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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