I puked a lego.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
