im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
