it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
third nipple confirmed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
