She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
