and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
