My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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