I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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