Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
