you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize