Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
