...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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